We’re approaching the end of the year and the seniors in schools across the country are getting desperate…to outdo their classmates.
Who will don the killer threads, have the hottest Date and, quite importantly, who will make the biggest scene upon arrival?
For the latter, that one stupendously rich kid might arrive in daddy’s helicopter, but most will opt to share a limo’ or arrive in a suitably bling ‘old car’.
For those of us who are amenable to event rentals with our old cars, this is the season when our phones start ringing in fury.
Patience is a requisite virtue in these cases. You’re dealing with youngsters who, more than likely, have no idea what’s involved in restoring, maintaining and prep’ing an oldie for reliable, timeous and flashy use. Old cars are exactly that, old. They require hard-to-find parts, which usually cost a fortune. They’re slower, typically less than 100% reliable and are usually driven by pedants who have little patience. I know, for I am one of them.
Whether you’re readying your jalopy for a media shoot, school function or wedding, the preparation is usually the same: intensive cleaning & polishing, some degree of a Service, route plotting and, if requested, decorating.
All of this, I can assure you, takes a substantial amount of time; and money.
Once the vehicle is ready, we need to get ready. You wouldn’t want to arrive at your function chauffeured by a smelly, unshaven sod in tatty attire, would you?
You may only be traveling a few miles to your destination, but you’re forgetting that we may need to travel a notable distance to cater to your address. Once there, we often need to manoeuvre several times, for your photos, assist ladies in and out of the vehicle, reconfigure the vehicle to your needs and perhaps wile away several hours, whilst you dance, get hitched, or whatever.
All of that said, there are always the lazy bums who will happily throw you the keys to their unmaintained heap for some quick cash. These are typically the chaps with a list of unhappy customers, irked drivers and roadside assist references littering their vehicles’ dashboards.
So, the next time you think of hiring ‘an old car’, please think carefully before you call a supplier to ask the following questions:
- “I want to hire an old car”. “Please be more specific.” “An old car.”
- “How much does it cost?” “For what? Sleeping in? Fornicating within?”
- “…but it’s only two miles to…”
- “We only need you for X amount of time.” “Riiight.”
- “Can we drive it?” “Are you willing to pay for any & all breakages and the insurance?”
…and, with specific reference to ambulance rentals:
- “Can you fit a dozen kids into your ambulance?” “It’s an ambulance, dear, so, no.”
We also appreciate a deposit on time, to cover our upfront costs and generally express appreciable gratitude when your excessively catered event can spare us a drink and a sandwich.