the3rdrock.com

Appar­ently.

HtF do you get that wrong?!

*cough* News24.com, *cough* I am avail­able to hire…

Source: News24.com

So you’ve been invited to accom­pany a new group of Break­fast Run riders this week­end, and you want to impress them?

You’ve got your knee-sliders worn just right, your bike is scream­ing with the new car­bon pipe and your wheel­ies are the best your nieces and neph­ews have ever seen, but you’re still wor­ried that you might not impress that rad’ cherry on her gold-plated boney?

Fear not, for the solu­tion is here, cour­teousy of UD Rep­licas, nov­elty leathers!

Star Wars / Stormtrooper

Bat­man Begins

X-Men United / Wolverine

DISCLAIMER: You may look, feel and be inclined to act like a com­plete jack­ass when dressed like the unfor­tu­nate model above. Any mon­ies paid in order to look like the model above is highly will not be refun­ded as you will have learnt your les­son, we all hope.

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER: For the anal-retentives among us, the above dis­claimer is a fic­tional com­pos­i­tion, designed to impart wit. It bears no rela­tion to any­thing real. Chill.

Amer­ican High­way Patrol officers have pulled over a sus­pi­cious driver and are con­duct­ing a search. Can you hear the siren? FAIL in pro­gress...

Did you see it?

Watch again…

Con­sid­er­ing there was no clear cer­ti­fi­able proof of what was on the paper the sus­pect swal­lowed, would he have been allowed to go?

Smart lad!

…because light­ing a tam­pon and shov­ing down the filler neck of a fuel tank will always give you enough time to get to a safe distance.

The genepool is in dire need of some intense chlorination.

We weren’t the only ones sim­ul­tan­eously grossed out by and fas­cin­ated with human DNA fact­ory Trent Arsenault—the pro­lific DIY sperm donor who hap­pens to be a pro­lific ama­teur porn star. He’s going to be on Ander­son Cooper’s day­time talk show tomor­row, where he’ll admit to being a 36-year-old vir­gin with more than a dozen kids.

In this pre­view clip, Arsenault, who’s been under fire from the FDA to shut down his one-man sperm bank, reit­er­ates that he’s a “donorsexual”—that is, all his sexual energy is devoted to donat­ing sperm (and pop­u­lat­ing his Xtube site with videos of him­self mas­turb­at­ing into a cup). “I don’t have other activ­ity out­side of that,” he said. “I will prob­ably be the 40 year-old vir­gin but I will have 15-plus kids.” Don’t you love science?

ABC is really milk­ing (ahem) this Trent Arsenault thing. Last week they pub­lished his spe­cial blue­berry “fer­til­ity smoothie” recipe in honor of a 20/20 appear­ance. Maybe next week they’ll give him a cook­ing show.

Here is the recipe:

Fer­til­ity Smoothie

Blue­ber­ries, organic (4.4 oz)
Banana, organic (1 medium-size, peeled)
Pine­apple, fresh (one-tenth of a pine­apple)
Cher­ries, frozen or fresh (5 medium-size)
Flax seed, organic, ground in cof­fee grinder (2 tbsp) or flax oil, organic (1 tsp)
Almond milk, organic (3/4 cup)
Cow milk, raw, organic, whole or skim (3/4 cup) or skim
Cocoa powder, raw, organic (1/2 tbsp)
Honey, raw, local, organic, and/or Manuka honey, organic (1/2 tsp total)
Lemon juice, organic (1 medium-size lemon, squeezed)
Vanilla bean powder, raw, organic (1/4 tsp)
Kiwi, peeled, organic (1 medium-size)
Cin­na­mon, raw, organic, ground (pinch)

Instruc­tions: Blend for about 20 seconds in a reg­u­lar blender. Fruits can be sub­sti­tuted when in sea­son or loc­ally avail­able , such as blue­ber­ries with rasp­ber­ries, straw­ber­ries, black­ber­ries, etc. Drink twice daily: once in the morn­ing, before exer­cise, and once in the even­ing. Eat one hour before donat­ing sperm to provide hydra­tion and fructose for sem­inal fluid.

A near-forty vir­ginal Ginger wanker, just what the doc­tor ordered for the sur­vival of the human race, eh?

Look Ma, hands!

Dis­claimer: the3rdrock.com is an equal hair col­our web­site. Mostly.

Watch a video inter­view on Gawker.com, here.

Source: mybroadband.co.za

Scope out the drum­mer in this video…

Is it just me or does he have all of the right traits to be one epic Rock ‘n’ Roll drummer?

Even Ozzy would be proud to have someone with his bas­ket of tal­ent onboard.